conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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