she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.