She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live