She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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