Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize