I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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