she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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