david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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