And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Randomize
