when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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