I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
