sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
