I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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