You can't special order awesome
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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