How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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