Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
two words...techno handjob
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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