yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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