i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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