dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
