That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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