I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize