For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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