look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
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i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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