There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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