she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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