I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
