imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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