Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
