You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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