he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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