I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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