im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
