can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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