I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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