i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
