Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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