Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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