I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
People in love make me want to vomit
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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