This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sarcasm needs its own font
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
