Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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