Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
