I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
