I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He felt like a one man threesome
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
