I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
