so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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