Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
