You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
