Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
