I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
