umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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