so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
