HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
