I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
