Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
