walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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