Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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