puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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