You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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