Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
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i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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