she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
