D3 body, D1 cock
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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