my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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