would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
