I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize