Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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